Jillian
by Chameron4ever
Summary: Chase seeks advice from a very old friend about his feelings for Cameron. ChaseCam. On hiatus, see my profile.
1. Waiting

**Author's Note: This story takes place after Airborne and disregards any later episodes. This is my first chaptered fic… It'll probably be about 5 chapters, although I may change my mind.**

**Disclaimer: Chase, Cameron, and all the others are not mine. Jillian, however, is. :)**

Chapter 1: Waiting

Chase sat at the table in the crowded café, waiting for his friend. He had known Jillian (or "Jilli" as her friends called her) since high school, and was about to see her for the first time in years. She still lived in Australia, so they didn't see each other often. They usually communicated through e-mails and occasional phone calls, but now she was taking her first ever trip to the U.S., and he was anxious to see her.

He had met Jilli when he was in his senior year of high school, and she was in 8th grade. His school was very large, and, although mainly a high school, also had a program for 7th and 8th graders. It was called a "high school prep program." This name had earned its student the name "preppies" long before Chase or Jilli came to the school. The "preppies" took most of their classes in a different part of the school, but had high school credit classes and lunch with the high schoolers. Even when in the same room, preppies were always separate from high schoolers. It was an unwritten law of the school.

Some of the teachers had come up with the idea for the seniors to write letters to the 8th graders about high school. Chase, along with a lot of other high schoolers, had thought that it would make more sense to write the letters to the freshmen, but the teachers wanted to give the 8th graders an entire year to study the seniors' advice… apparently. The letters would be an English assignment, but the teacher said she wouldn't read them before passing them on. After seeing some of the letters after they'd been sent, the teachers decided that probably hadn't been a very good idea.

Chase's letter definitely wasn't the best piece of writing he had ever created, but he had bigger things on his mind at that time. His father had left and he was busy trying to keep his mother from killing herself through alcohol. A lot of his friends had noticed changes in him starting when he was fifteen. He had always been very closed-off about his family, but things were different. Before, Chase had jumped at any invitation to go somewhere after school, to help friends with homework, to do anything that would give him an excuse to not go home. They had realized that and had started trying to help out. They learned very quickly that he was not going to talk or accept any type of condolence. The best way they could help him was to give him an excuse to stay away from home.

But at around 15, that had all changed. Suddenly, he was busy every day. He had no free time to spend with anyone. He always went straight home. Naturally, they were worried, but he refused to talk. He was becoming even more mysterious and closed-off. Before, they had known that he wanted to stay away because of his parents' fighting, but now, there was no excuse. They slowly accepted that there was nothing he would allow them to do. They began to drift apart, little by little. They still ate lunch together, still said "hi" in the halls, still chatted between classes. But they were not the type of friends you share secrets with… not anymore.

Of course, Chase couldn't tell his friends that he had to go straight home each day because he was taking care of his alcoholic mother, because then they would pity him. And he couldn't stand pity. Someone might even call social services. That was the last thing he wanted; for him to end up with a foster family to treat him like glass, for his mother to end up taking care of herself and dying, for his father to possibly be brought back into the picture.

So Chase was feeling very lonely and incredibly worn out from taking care of his mother and dong schoolwork in between. He had long ago dropped all extra-curricular activities, for he needed to spend as much time as possible at home. When he wrote his letter, it probably sounded depressed and was probably full of errors, but he didn't care. What was the 8th grader gong to do, confront him about it?

That is exactly what she did. Chase was astounded when, halfway through lunch, an 8th grader he had never met before walked up to him and asked, "Are you Robert Chase?"

This girl was attracting attention from everyone at the table, even the people Chase didn't know. They were very curious about what reason a little girl like this would have to approach a senior. She didn't seem to notice. "Yes…" said Chase, just as curious as the others.

She hadn't really needed to ask, because he was wearing an ID with his name on it, but was probably to be polite. "I want to talk to you about the letter you gave me." She got to the point very quickly.

A few of the other teenagers a Chase's table started to laugh, others were shocked by this girl's audacity. "What, you came back for more tips, little kid?" Said one boy that Chase didn't know, "I thought you were supposed to compare letters with each other. We've got better things to do than give advice to you little preppies."

She didn't leave. She grabbed his ID card and looked at the name. "You sent a letter to one of my friends." She commented. "It wasn't very helpful. It was actually very rude and had a lot of mistakes in it. I honestly wonder how you got this far without knowing simple spelling and grammatical rules that most learn in grade school. So forgive me when I say that we felt the need to look elsewhere for tips."

At this point, the boy was growing more and more angry, and more and more onlookers were flocking towards the table. "We don't _have_ any stupid tips for you." He said. "So go leave us alone."

"I was never talking to _you_ in the first place," she said. "I was talking to Robert."

"Well this is _our_ table, and we say leave." Said another boy.

She simply rolled her eyes. "You sound like eight-year olds." She said before starting to walk off. "I'm Jillian, by the way," she called to Chase over her shoulder before joining the other 8th graders.

By the end of the day, Chase had forgotten about the strange 8th grader under the stress of everything else in his life. He went into the house and found that his mother had discovered a stash of alcohol while he was at school. He had learned long ago that his mother was a very mean drunk. He attempted to take the rest of the dangerous substance away, but she became angry and hurled an empty bottle at him. He ducked in time and the bottle shattered against the wall, sending shards of broken glass everywhere. Chase decided that the best course of action would be to wait for her to fall asleep, as she always did. He went outside, seeking fresh air and a distraction. He found one but not the other. He lived only a short walk from his school, so he decided to see if any of his friends were still hanging out outside. He hadn't gone anywhere with them in years, but he needed someone to talk to then.

Unfortunately, they were gone. However, the 8th grader Jillian from lunch was standing by the corner. He didn't know what she wanted, but he wasn't in the mood to deal with a little kid right then. He started to walk away, when she stood in front of him, blocking his path. He sighed and attempted to walk around her, and she grabbed his arm. He then realized that he couldn't overpower an _eighth grade girl_. He hadn't gotten a full night's sleep in a long time and probably wasn't eating enough at the time, but he hadn't realized how weak he had gotten. He felt strangely pathetic. Jillian, too, seemed quite surprised at how easy he was to restrain. True, she was rather tall for her age, but he was still much larger.

Chase sat on the curb and resigned himself to answering her questions. "What do you want?"

She looked at him and he was surprised at how calming her gaze was… he hardly knew her, but he felt like he could trust her with anything. "You could start by telling me what you do outside of school that tires you out so much."

Chase gave her a _what do you know_ look, so she explained, "You have bags under your eyes every day, you look exhausted all the time, you seemed to be about to fall asleep in the lunchroom today, and then there's the fact that you didn't even have enough energy to overpower me a few seconds ago."

Chase couldn't help himself before the words slipped out: "Is it really that obvious?"

She nodded and sat down next to him. "Look, Robert," she said, "I know you just met me today, but I can tell something is seriously wrong, and if you don't tell someone, things are going to get a lot worse. And, if it helps, I can probably keep secrets better than anyone else in this school."

And, with that look on her face, he could tell that she meant it, that she really did care, and before he knew what was going on, he was spilling everything; his father leaving, his mother's alcoholism, his responsibility to take care of her. She didn't once interrupt him. She listened, and she sympathized. He couldn't believe how much better everything felt once he told someone. It was like a weight being lifted from him that he no longer had to carry this secret alone.

They didn't talk very much afterwards… Jillian seemed to understand that he needed time to think. Eventually, he decided that he should get home to his mother. "Thanks." He said, somewhat awkwardly, as he got up. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Jillian."

"Call me Jilli." She said, as she got up too.

They ate lunch together the next day. They drew a lot of attention, since preppies and seniors usually didn't even acknowledge each other's existence, but they didn't really care. Jilli had been able to do what Chase's friends couldn't: get him to talk.

They were best friends after that, and Jilli was always able to offer help and advice to Chase. She convinced him to pursue a career when he had been thinking about staying at home with his mother. When he was in Seminary School, it was she who convinced him that it wasn't right for him. She visited only once, but her words remained in his memory forever: "I know this isn't what you really want. If you actually think that you should be a Priest, that's fine, but is you're just doing this to spite your father, it isn't worth it. I understand that you don't want to accept his money for college, but you shouldn't let your anger keep you from doing something great… you were always so good in science class… and you can still spite him some other way. Pick an unpopular specialty, move out of the country, do something big that won't keep you from becoming as great as you could be."

He left the seminary a week later.

Even when separated by half the globe, she helped him. He sent e-mails every day and never kept anything from her. She still gave advice and they never broke the bond they had created so long ago. She helped him when he feared for his job after Vogler, when his father died, and when he was sued. He was there for her problems too… when she got robbed, when her sister got sick… he was unable to give advice like Jilli could, but he listened and helped to console her. Separated by miles, they clung to each other.

Now Jilli was a psychiatrist, a job that fit her personality perfectly.

And now, back in 2007, Chase sat at the table, anxiously waiting, when he saw a very familiar-looking woman walk in the door.

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**This chapter was mainly a flashback, but all the ones after is will be set entirely in the present.**

**Chase****'s school is based off of mine, btw. The whole "preppies" thing is all real, along with the stuff about separate universes.**

**Please review! I need to know that people are reading this before I update it.**


	2. Getting Advice

**Author's Note: Well, I got plenty of reviews asking for more, so here you go! I hope it lives up to the potential some of you say it has… **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, except Jilli**.

Chapter 2: Getting Advice

Chase waved to Jilli as she entered. She managed to find him within the large crowd in the café. He smiled at her as she sat down.

"So," she said, "You had a fight or something with Dr. Cameron?"

Chase choked on the coffee he had been drinking. He hadn't seen Jilli in person for years, and had forgotten about her incredible ability to tell exactly what's wrong by looking at your face. "May I ask how you figured that one out?" he asked. Even after knowing her for ages, he could never quite grasp her tactics. She always had to explain everything.

Jilli smiled, happy to be getting back into old routines with Chase. "I could tell just by looking at your eyes. You may have been smiling, but the eyes never lie. And they told me that, although you're happy now, you've been stewing about something bad for a while now. And they had that sort of happy-sad look you get when you're in love. Love plus bad event always equals fight with someone you love… in this case, Allison Cameron."

Chase sat in awe for a few seconds. He had forgotten how good she was at analyzing people in person. "All that just from looking at my eyes for two seconds?"

"Yep." She said, looking very pleased with herself. "But let's not talk about that quite yet. We just saw each other for the first time in ages, and we didn't even greet each other properly."

Chase laughed. He was feeling more at home than he had in a very long time. "Ok, should we start over? Do you want to go outside and come back in so we can say hello like we should've right away?" 

Jilli rolled her eyes slightly. "It really is good to see you again, Robert." She said. "It's been way too long."

"Great to see you too." Chase still found it odd to be addressed as "Robert." She had always called him "Robert" in e-mails, but somehow that wasn't the same. Whenever anyone spoke his name, he was always "Chase."

"So, how's the malicious boss been?" she asked.

"No worse than usual." He said. "Actually, he just got back from a trip, so we got to go a few days without him. What do you think of the U.S.?"

"It's cold." She responded. "I don't know how you stand it."

Chase laughed. "You get used to it eventually. It'll be getting warmer soon, although I guess you won't be here for that." Jilli was going back to Australia in a week.

There was a pause. "Ok, you can go back to analyzing me now." Chase said. "I know you're going to explode soon if you don't."

Jilli smiled, and then got right down to business. "So you've been in love with Cameron since basically day one. You didn't want to admit it at first, but you're e-mails gave it away easily." Chase nodded. He had come to accept it after about a year. "You asked her out once, and she said no. You left her alone for a while after that… Then there was the night she was high. You felt guilty afterwards because you thought you had taken advantage of her, so you told her it shouldn't happen again." All Chase cold do was nod as Jilli recounted all the past events of him and Cameron. Then she got into the territory of the past few weeks. "She wanted to start having sex with you, and you said yes. It started going a bit out of control, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop her. You started to become suspicious that she was using you to make House jealous. Then House found out and told Foreman and Cuddy. House asked Cameron if she loved you, and she avoided the question." Chase simply continued to nod when she finished listing events as if reciting the moments before a crime scene to a judge. He had, of course, told her about all this in his e-mails. Some people had notebooks or diaries. He had Jilli. And she was better than a notebook because she offered advice.

"Then," she said, "I had to leave for my trip here and was cut of from all contact with you. Something big obviously happened. What was it?"

Chase sighed. "We had just solved the case and I was walking out with Cameron…" he paused, the memory still painful to think about. He decided to just say it quickly. "I… I told her I wanted more."

"What did she say?" asked Jilli; although he had a feeling she already knew the answer.

"She broke it off." Chase sighed again. "It wasn't supposed to mean anything. I broke the rules, so she left."

Jilli paused for a moment. "What type of girl is she?"

Chase was slightly surprised by the question, but answered simply "perfect."

Jilli rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant. I don't care about how you see her. You're in love with her, which makes you biased. I want to know about her personality traits. You've described her in e-mails, but you were never objective. Try to see her through the eyes of just a coworker."

Chase thought for a moment. "Well," he said, "she's nice. Really overly kind and caring. It's usually a good thing, but it makes her a pushover sometimes, and it makes it difficult for her to give patients bad news. She usually tends to put other people before her… like the time she married someone who was dying of cancer."

"So she's nice." Said Jilli. "She's sometimes a pushover. Then why is it that throughout the entire sexual relationship you had with her, she was always pushing you around, and was even completely emotionless at times?"

"You think she had a reason?" asked Chase, now intrigued.

"I think she was scared." Replied Jilli.

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of getting her heart broken." Answered Jilli.

"You think she was in love with me?" said Chase. "There's no way. She obviously loved House and –"

Jilli cut him off. "No, she didn't love with you. I think she was afraid that she might start loving you. She insisted on being in charge because she didn't want you charming her. She stayed emotionless because she was afraid that, if she wore her heart on her sleeve, it could get broken, like it did with House."

There was a moment of silence while Chase took in everything Jilli had said. "But that can't be true." He said. "When I wanted an actual relationship, she left." In truth, Chase was afraid to get his hopes up that Cameron might like him, because he was scared they would come crashing down.

"That's because her feelings for you hadn't –and haven't- really developed." Said Jilli. "And she was afraid to let them. Cameron probably thought that even though you liked her then, it would end eventually. She's had a tough relationship history… Her husband died, she had to force herself to stop loving her husband's friend, and then House. Her heart can't really take another thrashing. Right now, she's afraid of any potential relationships."

"She's afraid of me ending it?" asked Chase, not quite believing it.

"She's afraid you'll hurt her." Responded Jilli. "You'll just have to prove that you won't."

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**This one was shorter than the first, but the next should be longer.**

**12/29/07 update: OK, before I said that I would update quicker if I got more reviews… apparently that was a lie because the story is on hiatus right now. Sorry. But if you like it, you should still review… maybe you'll inspire me:) And constructive criticism is always appreciated, of course.**


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